It turns out that those countless hours spent in a high
school biology class weren’t a waste after all. Through the natural wonder that
is chlorophyll and root systems, plant life has grown like weeds, right into
our interior environments. How many times have you found yourself desperate for
design advice, furiously flipping through design articles online and seen the
cryptic mantra: “bring the outdoors in”? Well thanks HGTV online, but what in
God’s name does that actually mean? Are you suggesting I replace my area rug
with freshly laid sod squares? Or maybe take a shower with the hose? Let me
clear something up for you, homies: bringing the outdoors in simply refers to referencing
outdoor elements within your living space, specifically with plant life. Tip: Using
plants is seriously the easiest way to breathe sophistication and life into
your space. Whether it be the bedroom, bathroom or communal areas, a vase of
fresh flowers instantly makes your interiors feel finished and more put
together.
Inserting plant life into your interior scheme has its
benefits. Not only is it aesthetically pleasing, adding texture and color, but
plant life increases the indoor air quality of a space too. It’s a win-win situation
right? There are plenty of options when it comes to fusing in your foliage, so
buckle up it’s going to be a wild ride… if you’re an old lady.
The fastest, easiest way to liven up your place is to simply
run to the corner flower market, or even Trader Joe’s really, grand some fresh
flowers and stuff them in a vase. So you’re not endowed with a green thumb.
Neither am I. best part about the whole flowers-in-vase idea: you just have to
add water. OK and maybe that packet of poison that comes with them. Having fresh
flowers set out instantly makes it seem like you have it all together. No
matter if your place is a mismatched crack house (that’s my terminology for
anything I, homeboy., have not personally touched with my little design
fingers) for some reason when flowers are on the counter, everything seems like
it’s supposed to be that way. It makes people think “well if they have flowers
out, they must really know their sh*t, and they probably feel really
comfortable here”. Isn’t that amazing? This little theory of mine explains the
endless amount of fresh flowers during my college years.
Blooming flowers aren’t the only option, however. Try
thinking vertically. With so much focus these days on the sustainable movement
and green design, a new application for plant life has been born and can make a
killer impact in your place. Introducing: Living walls. By planting small,
leafy green plants in a vertical fashion, living walls or plant walls are giving
your Grandma’s wallpaper a run for its money. In a recent restaurant project, I
even applied herbs vertically, to much success. Get creative! So how do you go
about hanging plants vertically? So simple y’all. There are many manufacturers
who actually sell living wall systems that you can purchase and install
yourself. This is such a cool and modern way to add interest to your place, and
really green of you, too.
My favorite trend when it comes to interior plants is
terrariums. These glass encasements are so chic, while maintaining a natural
touch. Terrariums are great for showcasing low-maintenance succulents and air
plants, which are so easy to take care of. Between you and me, I love the look
of succulents, which are a member of the cacti family. I kind of love their
architectural shapes, and also the fact that they remind me of my childhood
obsession: Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors. Since I can’t have an Audrey
II of my own (can you imagine trying to feed that thing?) the strangely
beautiful succulents will have to do. So to put my publicly humiliating DIY
skills to the test, I have created this terrarium out of an old candle jar,
rocks, moss, soil and of course a few succulents.
After cleaning out the wax from the jar, I simply built the
layers upon one another. It really doesn’t matter the order as long as the
rocks stay on the bottom for draining purposes. My thumb is turning green as we
speak. I should probably get that checked out.
There are some no-nos when it comes to using plants as décor,
however. Nothing rubs me the wrong way quite like fake plants. That’s right, I said
it. Fake plants are not acceptable at any point. FYI, when smoking in your car
with the windows became passé, so did decorating with fake plants. First of
all, they look fake. I hate to burst your bubble, but if you think you’re going
to make us believe that lush, green ivy can survive for years on end above the
bulkhead in your kitchen, you’ve got another thing coming. Also, they gather
dust. My inner nerd and allergy sufferer is trying to tell you that all that
collected dust can actually affect your comfort level.
Another foliage faux-pas that worries me is when I see dead
(or “dried” as hoarders call them) flowers hanging upside down in a home.
Though I appreciate you trying to channel your inner Moriticia Adams, hanging
dead plants on the wall gives me the heebie jeebies. It’s sort of morbid,
really dated and overall bad feng shui. According to the ancient Chinese art of
placement, you always want life in your interior space. Not, um… death. Oh and avoid bonsai trees. you can store them with your old bong and lava lamp from college. Nice Try though.
Now go, be one with nature, homies. But take off your shoes before you walk on the carpet.
