The Deal Breaker

 

Everyone has their own idea of what they consider a "deal breaker". For some people (me), the notable distinction between there, their and they're is a must. If you can't compose a literate series of sentences which flow seamlessly and appropriately with these three words, I'll call you, don't call me. Aside from the grammar woes that come along with dating, the inevitable first visit to your newest knight in shining armor's bachelor or bachelorette pad is atop the list as well.

Long ago, in an apartment complex far, far away, I had butterflies in my stomach before entering the hovel of my latest fling. He was tall, dark and handsome. An artist, in fact, with deep chestnut eyes, unruly hair and surely the same level of obsessive compulsive disorder that I have when it comes to my home. Upon walking over the threshold, I was able to forgive the futon, the shamelessly exposed litter box (barf) and the Matisse poster prints still backed in cardboard and wrapped in plastic. I had to convince myself that these things were superficial and had absolutely no relation to his character or future ability to care for hypothetical children. After sharing a glass of Tang, the artist left me to my own devices in his bedroom while he went to find his roommate, who was buried somewhere in the litter box, I'm certain. The bathroom. I hadn't yet seen the bathroom. Everything changed when I opened that door. It looked like a scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with not a matching towel in sight. Everything from toothpaste splatter, moldy everything and the mysterious sheering of some sort of hairy animal were present. I quickly turned on my heels and kicked rocks, never to see the artist again.

And so ends my tragic tale, but not without a lesson learned. Gentlemen (and perhaps some ladies too): modern retailers make it incredibly easy for you to have an acceptable bathroom that won't scare away the likes of me, or anyone else. The formula is not difficult, gents: Start with a color palette of 2 to 3 complimentary colors and go from there. Retailers like Target, West Elm and even Wal-Mart provide ample options for bathroom CPR, and to create a comfortable and stylish environment that will make any prospective date think you're the swankiest.

Take a look at these finds from Target. Did you know that the word Target is french for NO EXCUSES. So get out there! I've selected from their inventory and put together a combination of items to save your grody bathroom.

Transforming your bathroom into a chic man-spa is as easy as simply applying a well-coordinated group of finishes.

 

So here's to you, full of bathroom shame. A new dawn has come. And all for less than $100!

Homeboy.